I'm Either Considered Funkadelic or Funkalicious

Firstly, I want to say hats off to Roger Moore for making such an auspicious debut with his documentary "Farenheit 7/11." It takes courage for an individual to stand alone against such a popular administration. Not that I consider myself a political person, though I tend to lean towards the Librarian Party on most issues.

Now, to the business at hand, which is pressing:

A Few Reasons Why My Children Are Smarter And Better Than Yours

- Zach can roll onto his back to burp, then back on his stomach to fart.
- Zoey can poop the profiles of famous political figures into her diaper. Yesterday I saw Fidel Castro.
- They often cobble all of my shoes in the middle of the night when I'm asleep.
- Zach can sing Britney Spears songs in the voice of Johnny Cash.
- Zoey can spell "credenza."